After the announcement that The Ellen Show would end after nineteen seasons, Ellen DeGeneres sat down to discuss her decision with Oprah Winfrey on the show. DeGeneres teased her reasoning to The Hollywood Reporter in breaking the news yesterday (May 12), saying that the show just was “not a challenge anymore.”

However, on The Ellen Show itself, the host spoke out further about why she’s wrapping her time on the couch.

“You may wonder why I decided to end after 19 seasons. The truth is, I always trust my instincts. My instincts told me it’s time,” DeGeneres said, tearing up in the opening monologue of today’s show. “I always felt like next season was the right season to end this chapter.”

When Winfrey joined to discuss the decision, DeGeneres reiterated that she needs “to be challenged,” referencing her time hosting the Oscars and ventures back into stand-up as other challenges.

“As much as I absolutely love this show — and I do I love everyone here, I love everything about it,” DeGeneres said. “There are just different things, as a creative person, that I feel like I need to do.”

But the decision also comes after widespread claims of a toxic workplace on the show, which resulted in a Warner Bros. investigation and the firing of three top producers. DeGeneres has, on multiple occasions, claimed these accusations are entirely unrelated to the show’s ending.

“It’s not why I’m stopping,” she originally told The Hollywood Reporter, “but it was hard because I was sitting at home, it was summer, and I see a story that people have to chew gum before they talk to me and I’m like, ‘Okay, this is hilarious.’ Then I see another story of some other ridiculous thing and then it just didn’t stop.”

In today’s discussion with Winfrey, DeGeneres explained what it was like to break the news to The Ellen Show team.

“I told the crew and I told the staff, and there were tears. It was really hard,” DeGeneres said. “I do love everyone here, we do have a relationship. It’s every single day for me. I come in every day and this is my life, and theirs too. I wanted to give them a year. I wanted to give them enough time to know.”

DeGeneres doubled down on last year’s accusations this morning on the Today Show, before heading to chat with Oprah about the decision. “It was too orchestrated,” she on Today. “People get picked on, but for four months straight, for me, and then for me to read in the press about a toxic work environment, when all I’ve ever heard from every guest that comes on the show is what a happy atmosphere this is and what a happy place this is.”

The host also mentioned that two years ago, when the show was renewed for three seasons, she “knew in her heart” that Season 19 would be her last.

“The past 18 years, you have to know, have changed my life,” DeGeneres said to her audience. “I want you to know that I sat with this decision for a while. I meditated on it, I talked to Portia, I talked to myself.”

DeGeneres’s daytime talk show is currently broadcasting Season 18, and is slated to debut Season 19 in 2022. The final episode date has not yet been announced.

“I promise you that we are going to have a fantastic final season, Degeneres said. “It’ll be a season where I truly get to say thank you. Thank you all. Every day will be a celebration.”