Developers devote significant time to filling their video games with interesting characters. As players embark on adventures in lands of fantasy or journey beyond the stars, a lineup of characters usually accompanies them and offers support along the way. Whether a protagonist or NPC, these personalities can prove real standouts of their games, to the point that players often feel real connections to and invest in the fictional individuals they interact with across their journeys.
Whether it is the gruff, alien charm of Garrus Vakarian or the beauty of Lara Croft, developers tend to make their casts quite attractive. This, combined with interesting and deep personalities fueled by the narratives, makes a lot of characters seem like they would be great to date even in real life. Unfortunately, many of these virtual beings would not translate well to the real world — or just wouldn’t work well in relationships to begin with. Here are some of the video game characters you would probably want to reconsider asking out.
Kratos has an incredible amount of baggage for potential partners to deal with. His life, as documented in the "God of War" timeline, has consisted of a long string of tragedies and awful moments. To start with, he murdered his first family while in a blind fury fed by the Greek god Ares. From there, he went on a war path to slay the entire Greek pantheon, resulting in the complete destruction of the world. While already a lot for anybody to take on, possible love interests must also contend with the fact that Kratos only really knows how to deal with his feelings by killing things.
As seen in 2018’s "God of War," Kratos still has trouble functioning well after starting a new family. The entire game revolves around Kratos struggling to connect with his son after the death of his wife. Even with his new family, he spent the majority of his time in isolation trying to get his emotions under control. This left him distant from everyone, including those he cared about.
On the surface, Nathan Drake seems like a fantastic catch. He’s attractive, funny, brilliant, and could take partners to countless breathtaking locations. Throughout the four "Uncharted" games, the developers also portray Drake as a caring person as his relationship with Elena Fisher grows and he takes care of his close team of friends. Drake’s job travelling the globe to secure ancient artifacts and solving the mysteries of the past also looks exciting to tag along for.
However, Drake’s career also sees him killing hundreds of people. While the bulk of these individuals would have killed him if he didn’t get them first, many were just hired to do a job. The fact that the sheer quantity of people he dispatches doesn’t seem to have any emotional impact on him makes the situation even worse. He cracks jokes the entire time and never has any doubts or guilt over ending the lives of the people who get in his way, which leads to some serious questions regarding his morals.
Princess Peach is one of the original heart throbs of gaming, and it is easy to see why. She’s royalty in the Mushroom Kingdom, very pretty, and has never killed her entire family or committed a war crime. However, one big potential issue while dating Princess Peach would be just how frequently she gets kidnapped by Bowser. Anyone in a relationship with the princess would have to periodically journey across the Mushroom Kingdom, killing monsters and completing platformer puzzles to eventually fight Bowser and rescue Peach. Not only is that not something that most people can do, but it is also a massive time commitment that would undoubtedly get old fast.
To make matters worse, anybody dating Peach would have to rescue her before Mario does. It would be a race against the clock, as Mario would always venture out to rescue her as well, threatening to win Peach’s heart over and steal her from her current partner with his mustachioed charm.
Geralt of Rivia
Protagonist Geralt of Rivia serves as one of the most integral parts of "The Witcher" franchise. Throughout the books, video games, and Netflix show, countless characters swoon over Geralt and, in many cases, throw themselves at him. It makes sense, as he has a great voice, rugged good looks, and is extremely capable. Geralt also reveals over time that beneath his grumpy exterior he has a more poetic and hopeless romantic side. With all of that in mind, it’s hardly a surprise that players would also find Geralt attractive, especially during his notorious bath scene.
However, players familiar with "The Witcher" will know that a key aspect of Geralt’s personality is his emotional immaturity. He constantly pushes people away when starts to form an attachment to them in an attempt to protect himself from getting hurt. He lashes out at others in anger because of his bottled-up emotions, and he has a difficult time being introspective in any way. All of that, on top of the fact that his occupation could see him getting killed at any moment, indicates entering a romantic relationship with Geralt just isn’t a good idea.
Sephiroth is a great villain. In fact, he is so great that he was revealed to be one of the top three favorite villains amongst gamers. People can’t help but swoon over attractive and suave bad guys, and that is Sephiroth in a nutshell. He is tall, confident, and domineering. He is also a celebrated warrior in his world thanks to his efforts as part of Shinra’s SOLDIER program, making him a celebrity on top of everything else.
Unfortunately, toward the end of "Final Fantasy 7," Sephiroth learns the truth of his birth. After discovering that he was genetically engineered, he veers into delusion. In his delusion, he becomes convinced that it is his purpose in life to destroy the world and turns cold and calculating in demeanor. This all would be an incredible amount of baggage for romantic partners to work through, a situation that only gets worse when you factor in the fact that his personality would make spending extended periods of time with him even more unpleasant.
Samus Aran is one of the most classic video game characters ever made. She’s a universal hero, a badass, and has a penchant for wearing very tight outfits that highlight her curves. Given her heroics throughout the "Metroid" series, it makes sense that players would see a lot to admire in Samus and might think that she could make a good partner.
However, Samus has also committed a lot of terrible deeds. From genocide to robbing graves, there seems to be nothing that Samus won’t do to reach her goals. Additionally, her love interest would only be able to spend time with her if they joined in galivanting across the galaxy. This would be extremely dangerous and require her companion to be able to fight clones of Samus, fend off terrible diseases, and even kill (or at least run away from) colossal bosses.
"The Sims" is all about players making their own characters and living out their lives, but the games also come with pre-made Sims that appear throughout the series. The most iconic of these is Bella Goth, and there are good reasons for this. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also wealthy, confident, and has a lot of brains to back it up. Beyond her status as a famous movie star, she is also an accomplished researcher in "The Sims 4."
The issues with dating Bella Goth stem from the fact that, despite all of her great qualities, she is still a Sim. This means that she has very limited free will. Her partners would need to completely take care of her and tend to her needs at every given moment. If a love interest ever forgot about this aspect, she could end up starving, drowning in a pool, or going to the bathroom on the floor, all of which are obviously bad.
It is honestly difficult to make a strong case for why anyone would ever want to date Duke Nukem at all. Sure, he is extremely fit and has saved the world from alien invasions multiple times, but he is also a complete jerk and misogynist. So, it’s pretty strange that Duke manages to get any dates — even in his own games.
Duke’s misogyny runs so deep that it reared its ugly head in the multiplayer of "Duke Nukem Forever" in a notorious gaming moment that took things too far. The mode in question saw two teams battling over women in revealing clothes as objectives for matches. Even if his romantic partner could somehow get past his awful views toward women, Duke Nukem also has a reputation for getting on players’ nerves. He constantly spouts one-liners that never quite land, is overbearingly cocky, and only wants to kill aliens and smoke cigars. Not much of a personality.
Even those who don’t care for vampires can find a lot to like about Dracula from the "Castlevania" series. He has a smooth voice and carries himself with confidence. Dracula also possesses a range of interests like art and philosophy that help make him feel like a more realistic character. One of the most interesting aspects of his personality, however, is also one that would make dating him a terrible idea: his devotion to his dead wife.
The "Castlevania" timeline makes it clear that Dracula loved his spouse immensely. When she died, he sought revenge on all of humanity. That drive led him to perform some terrible deeds. Even if a potential partner could look past all of the horrible things Dracula has done, they would have to contend with the fact that he still harbors an intense love for his former wife. His grief for her drives his entire life, and it would be very difficult for a future love interest of his not to feel as though they were playing second fiddle to a ghost.
Almost everything about Solid Snake is appealing. His gruff voice, affinity for tight suits, great physique, and frequent saving of the world all make him seem like a dream partner. One would never have to worry about not feeling safe either, as there is little doubt that Snake would be able to protect a person he loves from anything that could threaten them. But those skills come at the high cost of having to care for Snake, a guy that is constantly followed by danger and a zillion government conspiracies.
Snake’s partners would have to spend a lot of time alone at home while Snake was away on missions — possibly even dying. He also would not be able to share much information with his significant other about what he does or anything bothering him. Even if Snake did decide to tell his partner what was going on in his career, it would be so difficult to keep track of thanks to the convoluted timeline of the "Metal Gear" series.
While all three of the protagonists in "Grand Theft Auto 5" lack strong morals, Trevor Philips is the worst of the bunch. Playing as Trevor is a ton of fun since he is so wild and unpredictable, which leads to some hilarious moments. However, he is also extremely violent and easily set off. Not only do players have to control him as he brutally tortures a man, but Trevor also frequently lashes out or haphazardly murders people without any form of consideration.
For an example of what people could expect if they captured Trevor’s affections, they need look no further than Patricia Madrazo. Trevor quickly falls in love with Patricia during the game’s story and becomes obsessed with her. Despite the fact that she is married, he attacks and beats her husband, almost killing him in the process. With that level of volatility, Trevor’s partners would constantly have to look out for their friends and family getting on his bad side.
The default "Minecraft" character, Steve, has enjoyed a rise to fame alongside the game, becoming so iconic as to be invited to join the roster of "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" in an unexpected twist. Despite his status, dating Steve would be a horrible idea. If one did become Steve’s significant other, they would have to either live with him in the wilderness or allow him to move in with them.
If someone chose to move to the wilderness, they would have to constantly work for everything — even just a simple meal. They would have to punch items to break them, which would shatter most people’s knuckles, all while fending off zombies and creepers constantly. If Steve moved in with his partner, however, it would not be much better. Steve would break the bed out of habit while trying to arrange the bedroom in a different way. His loud chewing would reverberate off the walls of the apartment, loud enough to drive anyone to potential violence. And who knows if Steve would even be willing to just go enjoy a movie or hang out watching Netflix.
Garrus is one of the most fawned over video game characters of all time. While travelling with Commander Shepherd, he can become either a romantic partner or a best friend thanks to his loyalty, quick wit, and ability. He became so popular that dedicated fans have even been able to purchase official body pillows with Garrus emblazoned on them. But while Garrus works great as a partner in "Mass Effect," he would not fit the role as well in real life. This stems from just how dark of a history Garrus has to live with.
Throughout the story of "Mass Effect," Garrus becomes a vigilante of justice who indiscriminately kills those he deems worthy and goes on to deeply regret his actions. Depending on the choices made during the game, Garrus can fully embrace his darker side, taking on a very sinister and outright frightening perspective on life and justice. In addition, Garrus’ partner would only really be able to see him consistently if they joined the crew of Shepherd’s ship, constantly putting their life in harm’s way. They would also be stuck working with Garrus if the relationship ever ended.
Max Payne is another character who suffers the consequences of a tortured past. After his wife and child were brutally slaughtered by home invaders strung out on drugs, Payne embarked on a path of revenge that quickly consumed his entire life across all three games in the series. While his anger over the murder of his family is definitely understandable, the baggage of his sorrow and internalized guilt would be a lot for a new partner to deal with.
Payne’s drive for revenge is also so all-encompassing that any potential love interest would have to be okay working toward his goal alongside him. This means constantly putting oneself in danger, killing countless people, and doing all of it for deceased individuals they’ve never even met. Add on the fact that it seems unlikely that Max would ever be able to return to a normal life even after achieving his goals, and it’s clear the relationship would be doomed to fail eventually.
Pyramid Head is arguably the most popular monster from all of "Silent Hill" and is one of the most iconic villains in the industry. His massive polygonal head and intimidating sword give him an imposing appearance, but there are some people that may be attracted to just how jacked he is. Even if a potential partner could look past all of the murder and torture that Pyramid Head has inflicted on others, there is still a big red flag for potentially dating him.
The red flag is the surprise twist of "Silent Hill 2" — the reveal that Pyramid Head is actually just the embodiment of the protagonist’s guilt over killing his sick wife. While relationships do tend to work better if the people in them have at least a few things in common, somebody actually dating themself is a recipe for disaster, especially if that self has a very real habit of murdering people.