True love is a powerful thing. It can make you feel like you’re on top of the world, and it can make your heart ache with sadness. It’s not always easy to tell when someone loves you back, but there are plenty of signs he loves you that will help give you an idea of where things stand.
Both my personal experience and research show that women ask themselves the same question all the time. Frequent debates like:
"How do I tell if he loves me?"
"Does he love me?"
"Does my boyfriend love me?"
"Does my husband really love me?"
"Signs a man loves you"
-indicate that women think about this a lot.
No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you might have wondered about your partner’s feelings. A strong relationship takes time, trust, and plenty of communication. Even after you and your partner exchange ‘I love you’s, you might still not be certain that it’s true.
Related: Is he thinking about me
Is he in love with me? Does he really love me?
Being unsure of your partner’s love is frustrating and worrying. I’m sorry that you have to go through that, but I completely understand.
For a long time, I saw some signs that my husband loved me, but I still had a hard time trusting that. It is difficult to deal with all the common insecurities. I managed to get through it and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Questions like ‘does he love me’ or ‘does he still love me’ can pop up at any time in the relationship. For some people, it’s early in the relationship. Others wonder if this is the real deal after being together for a few months. Or perhaps after many years of being together, you start to wonder whether the love is dwindling.
Love is more than just words
Love is more than saying the right things or what the other wants to hear. Declaring your feelings can be easy, so some people like to deceive through sweet lies. You can tell a person you love them by what you do for them.
Keep in mind that actions speak louder than words.
Related: Signs he likes you but is hiding it
Words do have their power and worth. And it’s important for couples to share their thoughts and affection on a daily basis. However, actions have a much stronger impact. They are the way of proving your words.
A man’s love will be made obvious by the way he treats his woman and by his decisions. If the loving expressions are there but the behavior doesn’t match them, he might be treating you superficially.
Out of the ’10 signs he loves you’ I put together, you won’t find one saying ‘just because he said so’. Anyone can say it, but not all can actually back it up with actions.
Related: How to tell he loves you by his kiss
At the beginning of your relationship, your guy might take a while to say that he loves you. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings for you. He could be very serious about saying it and doesn’t want to do it in a hurry. It may be that he worries that he’ll open up and you won’t share his feelings. These are all typical ways to feel and valid concerns.
Love is meaningful. It should be considered a big deal. Love should not be rushed or constrained.
It takes patience to bring a healthy relationship to that point where you can share ‘I love you’s. Of course, it’s up to you how long you wish to wait for your guy. My husband took nine months to finally say it back to me. He didn’t want to say it for the sake of it. I was patient and didn’t push him. And it was so worth it.
So, how do you know he loves you? These 10 true signs will answer that.
10 true signs he loves you which you can count on
This list is not meant to be exhaustive or absolute. Each relationship is different and people express themselves in their own way. The main thing is the effort your partner puts in, that is always a great sign. Hard work is a necessary ingredient for improving ourselves, showing love, and experiencing a meaningful relationship.
Related: Hidden signs he likes you
Being actively involved in a relationship is part of adulthood. So the following signs aren’t only indicators of love. They also point out the emotional maturity needed to build and maintain a successful relationship.
1. He shows you respect
Love and mutual respect are complementary. Respect might not make you think about romance. But it is essential for a healthy loving relationship.
A partner shows respect by being considerate of your time, your body, preferences, choices. He values your intelligence and thoughts. All this is a true sign he sees you as more than as a friend.
A certain way to show respect is listening. I feel that I’m treated with the utmost importance when I’m listened to. When my partner takes interest and is attentive to my thoughts and issues, it makes me feel loved. It shows that I matter, that what I have to say is important and my feelings are valued. Also, watch his body language for subtle signs.
2. He makes you his priority
One of the sure signs that your man loves you is that he makes an effort to put you first. It may not be possible each time, but it shows you’re the most important person in his life. A selfless man will make your happiness a priority.
They will adjust their way of doing things and organize their free time. Whatever is necessary in order to keep connecting with you. It’s something we should always focus on in a relationship, even though it’s hard sometimes.
Whether your partner gives up a guy’s night to care for you as you’re sick or goes above and beyond for your well-being. It’s a sign that he has strong feelings for you.
Related: Is It True Love When He Ignores Me?
3. He works on improving himself
No one is perfect and relationships can bring up old emotional wounds. Even conflict is part of a normal relationship. What counts most is what we do and how we react. Your significant other will push your buttons and challenge you. How we deal with issues shows how much we care about the other.
Look at how your guy handles tense situations. Does he ignore them? Does he avoid you and offer a silent treatment? Is he able to admit that he makes mistakes? Answering these questions offers insight into his emotional maturity. He may love you in a way, but he’s not ready for an adult relationship.
A loving partner owns up to their behavior and is open to improving. He discusses issues and plans how to fix them together. This doesn’t mean either of you should completely change to please the other. His willingness to be better and build a stronger relationship should not be overlooked.
4. He opens up to you
Men like to have a certain image, to look strong and capable. But they are not made of stone. A true sign that a man loves you is that he lets you in and shows you his vulnerable side. This is not a little thing for men to do, so you need to handle it with care. Their emotions are guarded, few people around him have access to what is really going on with him.
So him sharing his feelings with you is a big deal. It might take a while, but letting you get closer means his love is becoming stronger. Also, don’t expect him to share on a regular basis if that’s not his nature. He still wants to be the secure, confident guy that will be there for you.
Someone who doesn’t see themselves with you in the long run, could showcase a different behavior. Keeping you at arm’s length would certainly not advance the relationship.
5. He makes time for you
Making time for you is also a good sign from your significant other. You should feel reassured when you’re always part of his life, not only when it’s convenient for him. Being busy is normal, but we make time for what’s really important.
A loving partner will make sure you’re clearly integrated into his daily activities. It may not be simple, but you would see his effort. He sets dates on a regular basis or calls when he’s busy. Dropping by to see you even for a few minutes means you’re on his mind and truly cares for your company. Adapting his schedule around you and not the other way around indicates you’re very dear to him.
6. His interest is not solely sexual
Relationships start with excitement and passion, so it’s easy to get confused. Lust and real love are different things. Once the initial enthusiasm is gone, the relationship may start to fade.
Related: Signs he loves you when making love
If you build on the initial feelings, you can get a strong relationship. Sex is an integral part of a fulfilling connection. The question is, is your man looking to extend that connection outside of the bedroom? Or is he only interested in getting you in bed?
Planning activities and getting to know each other show interest in something more than a fling. It would be strange if he only calls you at night or you only hang out in your homes.
7. He wants you in his future plans
Talking about the future and where the relationship is going can be scary for many. Especially guys in their twenties or emotionally immature people. But one of the signs he’s in love with you is the ability to talk about the future.
Of course, couples don’t usually start planning marriage and kids during the first months together. And it’s not necessary to prove love.
Planning for the summer vacation together means he’s hoping you’ll be around then. An even if he’s not ready for marriage, someone who loves you will include you in their plans. Functions, vacations, and events a few months in the future are a great way of building a solid relationship.
If he cannot even commit to weekend plans, though, he might not be in it for the long run.
8. He focuses on you feeling cared for
My husband often emphasizes how my happiness is important to him. This means a lot to me.
When we started dating, he didn’t say it outright. But to sense that my feelings mattered to him was one of the most compelling signs that he loved me. He remembered what I liked in my pasta, what made me nervous, what funny shows I watched. He didn’t try to impose his own ways on me.
Does your partner show interest in making you feel better when down, or make you feel safe? Is it a priority to him that you’re content? The behavior can be subtle, but it means so much.
9. He introduces you to people that matter to him
One of the strongest signs that your boyfriend loves you is introducing you to people in his life. His family members, his friends are people he loves. Meeting them is important and it means your relationship is taken to the next step.
Even if his parents live far away or he’s new in town, you should know of his family and friends. He can tell you stories about his siblings, you can connect with funny tales from your childhood. And they should be hearing about you. He could introduce you during a phone call or a video call. That is for sure a true sign he’s serious about you.
10. He builds you up
Often it’s the way people make us feel that tells the most about them. Does he make you feel good about yourself? Flattery and empty compliments don’t count. It’s his behavior and words that make you feel appreciated. Does he inspire you to do better and improve as a person?
A loving partner will not make you feel bad, inferior, unworthy. He will always respect you and make you feel important. Even when you feel silly or not up to a challenge, he would encourage you and bring out the best qualities you possess. Being in a great relationship doesn’t mean we always feel perfect.
Someone who loves you will always help you thrive, not sink.
What to do in case he doesn’t love me?
If you went through all the signs and few or none apply to you partner, don’t fret. This doesn’t mean he has no love for you.
Maybe he has a hard time expressing himself or he doesn’t know how to behave. A relaxed chat will be an eye-opener. You can share your desires and emotions, encouraging him to do the same. You could even use the signs above as tips on how to be a better partner.
Each person has their own language of love, so pay attention and see what makes each of you feel loved. Some people need a lot of quality time together. Others feel they are most loved when holding hands or through hugs.
Related: How to stop looking for love
If you’re unsure about his feelings, you could just ask. It’s not a great idea to start the relationship with questions like ‘where is this going?’. After a few months though, you should both feel comfortable having an honest discussion. It doesn’t have to involve wedding plans. But knowing where you stand and what your goals are in a relationship is a mature thing to do.
If you don’t see eye to eye on most things, maybe you should think about what exactly keeps you together. You don’t have to worry about every little thing though.
What if your partner won’t say ‘I love you’?
This can become a difficult situation for you. If you’ve been together for years and your partner still doesn’t say it, you need to make a decision. Is it important and necessary for you to hear the words?
For myself, like most people, it’s very important. My primary love language is ‘words of affirmation’. I need to hear that my husband loves me and he needs to speak his affection. Otherwise, I don’t feel like I’m loved or happy.
If that’s also how you feel, you need to share that with your significant other. He might think it’s not important to you because he shows love in a way he thinks is enough.
You should be patient. But you also need to be true to your sentiments. After a long time together he would have no issue in expressing his romantic love in a direct and obvious way.
What if he doesn’t love me?
If your partner refuses to say and show his love, I’m sorry you have to go through it. It can be devastating to find out that the person you love doesn’t love you back. Healing takes time and it’s difficult to find your path again.
Know that something even better is waiting for you at the end of that painful journey. You will be free to find true love, somebody who will not make you doubt them. It’s only fair to find someone who shares the same intensity to love that you do.
There is a person for everybody. And I’m sure you will definitely find the right one for you.
You have already found answers and have made it to the end of this article, which shows that you are taking action to find true love.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.