True love is when he ignores you – wondering if this statement is true? Or just wondering "why my boyfriend is ignoring me"? And "what to do when he ignores you?"
When a man ignores you it is NOT a sign of love most of the time. It is basically a disregard for another person’s feelings and should not be tolerated.
In this guide, we will see the real reasons why your guy ignores you, what a man who ignores you thinks, and how to deal with it.
Related: Does He Love Me? – Honest Signs
Whether you are just interested in a guy, dating one, in a relationship with a man, or in love with him, if he ignores you, it hurts a lot.
Studies show that when you are ignored or rejected, it activates the same neural pathways in the brain as when you are kicked in the stomach.
First, make sure it is not a false alarm and that he really is ignoring you.
Top 4 signs he’s really ignoring you
There can be many more signs but these four are the most common ones:
- He doesn’t respond to your texts when you ask him a question
- He makes zero or very minimal effort for you
- He doesn’t seem that connected to you
- He makes things very difficult
Seems familiar? Now you know it’s not just a false alarm. Let’s see the possible reasons why your partner is being distant.
Top 10 Reasons Why He’s Ignoring You
1. He’s not even aware that he ignored you
It is a mistake to think that all men are alike. Let’s see what would happen if you would seek the advice of the two different types of men.
Some guys are very talkative and enjoy being in contact with a lot of people. If you approach one of these men and ask for his advice, he’ll probably say that your guy is not interested in talking to you.
On the other hand, some men are happy to talk once a week, and you do not exist the other ninety percent of the time. Seek their advice, and they will tell you that you are being paranoid.
Does it mean he isn’t interested in you? Or does it mean he is interested in you?
What is important is a regular pattern of communication – whether it’s once an hour or once in a few days.
2. He is interested in another girl
I know, it sucks. No one wants to be second best. No one wants to lose to someone else because they’re prettier, smarter, funnier, slimmer, sexier than us.
It’s a big hit to our self-confidence. We really don’t want to care about it, but the truth is we can’t stop thinking about it.
Now, instead of feeling bad about it, let’s change how you think of it:
- He’s doing you a favor by ignoring you when you’re not his number one choice anyway. Don’t waste your precious time with guys who are with you just because there’s no one better out there.
- He’ll discover the other girl is crazy or something, and when he comes back in hopes for a second chance, you’ll be in a happy relationship with a man who thinks of you all the time.
- It’s your good luck that he chose someone else, because if you had dated him, you probably have dumped him anyway. Maybe fate is telling you that a better man is out there for you to find.
- A high value woman don’t want to please every man. The fact that he couldn’t see your value means he’s ordinary and doesn’t deserve you. You are at least free to find a guy who deserves you.
3. He has a busy Life and doesn’t want to be too pushy
Sometimes men with busy lifestyles have a hard time finding time to date. Hard to imagine, isn’t it? But it’s true, believe me. These guys are very independent, have a lot of responsibilities and hardly have any free time.
It may be that your guy simply believes that everyone is as busy as he is and therefore communicates very rarely. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or has lost interest in you.
Dating a busy businessman-type guy can be difficult if you are not used to it. You have to accept that you won’t be spending too much time together. You will often have to adjust to his schedule.
If this is not for you, you should date someone who has fewer responsibilities and more free time.
4. He doesn’t like you
I mean, he doesn’t like you enough. After all, if you made such a great impression on him, he would certainly be looking out for you, despite the other possible reasons in the following points. But it’s important to know that it’s not about you, it’s about him.
There’s nothing wrong with you not being the main object of desire for him. It’s just that you’re probably not a good match anyway (even if you think otherwise at the moment).
After all, you wouldn’t want to start anything serious with someone who wasn’t really into you, right? (Not to mention the other way round.
Maybe your date went okay, but he still doesn’t want a second one. And if this all happened on the first in-person date after online dating, then maybe it’s not so rude to simply disappear without explanation.
On the other hand, if something intimate happened on your date, like a kiss, or you met him more than once, then yes, it’s rude, shame on him.
5. He thinks you don’t like him
Yes, men can be insecure too, like women. Even if they hide it well.
If you’re not sending him the right signals, he may think, "She doesn’t seem to like me, why should I hurt myself even more by trying hard?" While you may just be shy, or a quiet type, introvert, etc.
So what are the right signals? More on that later. Remember, on average, men’s radar is less receptive to these things than women’s.
6. He’s in a relationship
As cliché as it may sound, it’s one of the most common reasons, unfortunately.
Maybe he’s having a fight with his girlfriend or wife right now. Maybe he’s on the verge of a breakup. Or maybe he’s just looking for a fling.
But the first time, of course, he doesn’t tie it to your nose, because he thinks it won’t matter later anyway. And then it almost always turns out that it does matter, and just like that, he disappears.
Don’t be sad about it, you just dodged a bullet.
7. He is a player
Although women tend to be accused of playing games when getting to know each other, there are some great players among men as well.
Here’s an example I heard from a guy the other day:
"I’ll call her after two days. If you call her the next day, she gets overconfident. If you call her after 3 days, she thinks too much, and then it’s just too late.
Oh, and I always set the date for 3-4 days later. It makes her feel like I’m a busy man with other important things to do. Not needy at all. Let her starve for a while."
And you know what? These kinds of tricks actually work for them in several instances. It’s just one of their tricks of many. Try to watch for the signs of dating a player.
8. He just wanted to conquer
Which is usually interpreted afterwards the affair as "he was just using me for sex". It’s not that simple, and it’s not always about THAT. It’s more about a man’s hunter instinct.
For a man, it’s more important to "hunt down" the woman he’s looking for than to do something with her afterward. He wants to feel like he is capable of conquering her. He may not even need sex to do that.
And why do men do this? There are many reasons:
- he is at that stage of his life,
- he wants to gain experience,
- he is building his confidence,
- he is mending his heart after a breakup,
- he is unable to commit,etc.
Of course, in any case, it is not nice to disappear without a word. Especially since nowadays there is really no shame in admitting that his intentions are not serious. He could easily find the right person for a fling. And then there would be no reason to ignore them or disappear.
9. He is afraid
No, he is not afraid of you. Not even of smart/strong/independent etc. women. He’s afraid of losing his freedom and pride. He’s afraid of commitment.
Men mature slower than women. This is the real reason that explains the great mystery.
Also, men, especially in the beginning, are still very concerned about protecting their pride. They don’t want to give in and play a one-sided game where they have to work hard for approval while the woman decides whether to accept or reject them.
So they unconsciously procrastinate and hope for a greater degree of reciprocity. This leads to a waiting game (where you feel like he’s ignoring you), or in extreme cases, they give up altogether.
10. He has a good reason for it
Last but not least, we can’t rule out the possibility that something really unexpected, unfortunate, or serious has happened to him. For which there is a good reason not to contact you (for a while).
He could have had an accident, someone died, he dropped his phone in the tub and lost your number, etc.
But if he really likes you, trust me, he will find a way to get back to you. Just a little later.
What to do when he ignores you
First of all, don’t give up hope just yet. If you haven’t heard from your loved one after a few days here is what you can do:
1. Question his behavior
If you feel your guy is ignoring you, try to address it.
Say something like, "You seem very distant the last few weeks – you don’t call as often and you only respond to texts with a few words. What’s going on?"
This way you don’t accuse him and it doesn’t feel desperate. You clearly let him know that you’ve noticed a change in his behavior and give him a chance to explain.
2. Try to communicate on other channels
If you’re relying too much on him to respond to your text messages, you may need to change your method of communication. If he’s receptive to it, then you know he hasn’t ignored you.
3. Give him permission to leave you
Instead of being trapped forever, tell him you’ll understand if it doesn’t work. Then you have the opportunity to move on without doubt or hesitation.
And if he doesn’t want to leave you, that gives you the opportunity to communicate about your needs and expectations.
4. State your needs early on the relationship
Let him know in the early "get-to-know-you" stage that you want someone responsive and that you don’t like games.
Your guy will appreciate your direct and honest tone. It will give him the opportunity to open up and let you know his thoughts and concerns too.
5. Don’t send him too many text messages or calls
If you’re wondering why he doesn’t text/call as often, it may be because excessive texting or calling comes across as needy, insecure, or even crazy.
Believe me, he sees that you have contacted him. If he still doesn’t get back to you after a week, you can be sure you’ve been ghosted.
6. Leave him alone for a few days
Keep yourself busy with activities, meet up with friends, and even go on other dates while you wait for him to get back to you. This will take your attention away from your phone and help you forget that he is ignoring you.
Also, there really is nothing wrong with dating other men if you’re not yet exclusive. When he gets back to you, you can decide whether or not you want him in your life.
Is ignoring a sign of love?
Ignoring a loved one is usually not a sign of love. Truth is, it’s quite a bad behavior. It is simply a disregard for another person’s feelings.
What does it mean when someone ignores you? What does it mean to ignore someone?
Summed up: To ignore someone is to not interact with or talk to them. When someone ignores you, it can make you feel sad and hurt. Ignoring someone can lead to them never talking to you again. When someone ignores you, they may be struggling with something in their life that has left them feeling sad, insecure, or uncertain. They might be struggling with loss from a close family member or friend and need time to grieve. They might have had an obstacle that made them lose their job and are struggling to find another one. When someone doesn’t want to talk about what is going on for them it is important to provide your support in a way that doesn’t pressure them into talking about things they don’t want to yet.
What is the difference between ignoring and not responding?
There are two types of people who ignore a person, one who does so on purpose and one who is not ignoring the person but merely does not respond. It can be hard to determine which type of person someone is when they choose to ignore you because some people do it because they do not want the other person to get the wrong idea or because they just don’t care. On the other hand, those who do not reply are often doing so because they need some time for themselves or something else might be wrong in their life.
How do I know if he’s ignoring me on purpose or not?
There are a lot of ways to tell if someone is ignoring you or not. One way is when a man’s behavior towards you changes. They may be uninterested or they may be over you, which can cause them to start ignoring you without meaning to. If your partner doesn’t want the relationship, they will start to ignore you on purpose. You should also consider whether the person is just busy with life and working through their own problems before concluding that they are not interested in being around you anymore.
What should I do when a man starts to ignore me?
If you have found yourself in a situation where the man that you are dating is starting to ignore you, there are some steps that can be taken. First, make sure that he meets your criteria for a partner. You should also make sure that he is not in the middle of rebounding from another relationship or just having problems with his mental health. It can also be helpful to look at what caused him to withdraw in the first place and work on coming up with solutions as opposed to worrying about how long it will take for him to come back around.
What should I do if he’s playing hard to get but likes me?
The easiest thing to do if a guy is playing hard to get is just to play harder. Men love a challenge and if you show that you are worth the chase, he will be hooked in no time. Make him feel like he has something to work for and when you finally give in, it will have been worth it!
How do I know if he loves me?
When a man loves a woman, he will prioritize spending time with her. And if he truly does not have time, he will tell her when he will. When a man loves a woman, she is the most significant person in his life, and he will do anything for her.
What is love?
Love is a deep feeling of tenderness, affection, and attachment. There are many different types of love, but all types of love have the same root: to care for someone with an intense desire. Love can be shown through words or actions. It may be unconditional or conditional and often changes with time or situations that occur.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.